why you will marry the wrong person
In a world crammed with over 7 billion people, isolating yourself and your interactions to little or no human contact is a luxury only very few can afford. Putting that aside, human beings in their entirety, as well as individually, are the most fascinating living organisms to me. How we function mentally, physiologically, spiritually and socially has always peeked my interest. And to make sense of who I am, who I want to be and my role in a micro and macro setting I’ve turned to psychology and numerous other fields of academia (not to mention a couple Tedtalks) for guidance, understanding, and objectivity. This is how I stumbled upon Alain de Botton and his explanation of ‘why you will marry the wrong person.’
As unbelievable as it may seem, historically, marriage had little to do with love, affection and/or companionship. However, the pandemic spread of romanticism redefined the reasons for matrimony into what we celebrate today. Romanticism’s replacement of logic (what made sense) with emotions (what felt right) made individual happiness the highest priority for people who want to marry. Nonetheless, unlike what is/was hoped by romantics, marrying the person you love the most i.e. your soulmate doesn’t guarantee a happy and successful communion. Some social critics even blame our newly found motivation for why so many modern marriages fail, both from the perspective of romantics and non-romantics.
In this video, why you will marry the wrong person, Botton explores the reasons for our failure to cultivate long-lasting, happy relationships. He focuses on our inability to choose the right people; our blindness towards who we are and what we actually want; and so much more.
Botton is a renowned essayist and international bestseller of the ‘philosophy of everyday life’ with over 10 books under his belt, ranging from topics about love, work life, therapy, religion, travel, architecture etc. He also founded and helps run a school in London named 'The School of Life', which is dedicated to a new style of education. Do check him out.
That's all for this week. Hope this short but compound post gives you something to ponder over. Let me know what you think in the comment box. If you have any recommendations for contemporary (and maybe a few preceding) philosophers or just speakers who blow your mind, share them below. Have a wonderful week and stay woke.