Benefits of a throughly broken heart

My biggest fascination with life on earth has always been L.O.V.E- why we do it, how we express it, how it affects everyone involved, how it evolves in time, it's unequivocal power to create good and to inspire the most heinous human tendencies. I am awed by the human, almost borderline desperate, desire to love and be loved; and the equally stubborn force that repels us from the hurt that comes when love is no longer beautiful.  Undoubtedly, there is no better wonder than love followed by its dreaded counterpart, the heartache. Because for every song, movie, novel, prayer, act about/ as a result of love there is also one for heartbreak. And yet, we fail to see it for what it undeniably is, the energy that propels us towards something better.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.”- Ana├»s Nin
Let me be upfront, heartache from any type of relationship is a pain unlike any other. It is crippling. It takes away one's air and almost anything else a person needs to survive. But most of all, it messes with a person's reality. There is no simple way to describe what it feels like to be heartbroken except that it sucks. Big time. All the time. Until the day it doesn't.
It is easy to focus on how awful it feels to have a broken heart, but like everything on earth, there are two sides to heartache. And most times, despite how hard it is to see, heartache too has its benefits. I hope the benefits you read today give you some kind of solace and hopefully a little perspective, maybe they might even make room for hope and light.

 A broken heart is proof of a heart that has loved

The three sure ways for a person to know that he/she truly loved another is when said person is tested and is forced to either sacrifice something dear or fight solely for the benefit of their beloved. And lastly when a person feels the despair of a broken heart. I believe it doesn't need to be mentioned, but the simple fact is 'no one gets their heart broken over something they didn't love.' To have your heart broken, you need to have done the beautifully brave thing of welcoming someone into your heart in ways you do not do with everyone else. We often get so consumed by the pain of losing that love/person that we forget to celebrate the magic and the millions of things that had to happen for that love to exist as it did. We neglect to congratulate ourselves for being able to peel the layers and unearthing the elements of a person's essence that are worthy of love. And for that I applaud you, I award you, and I celebrate you.

You get to see what you are made of

We often talk about the strength and resilience of our race, highlighting the physical obstacles and struggles we overcame; until lately the mental and emotional victories didn't make the cut. Yet, even in the times when these things were considered inconsequential heartache has always been given it's due. Why? Because it takes strength, hard work and resilience to mend a broken heart. I don't mean burying the pain/ memories like it never happened or neglecting them entirely and jumping into the embrace of whatever takes the pain away (temporarily). I mean, removing the rose-colored glasses and taking the time to evaluate your (and their's and anyone else's) role in the outcome; accepting things as they are (not what you thought or wished they could have been); and finally taking the time and care it would need to weld the shattered pieces back together.

Heartache brings you face-to-face with your ugliest side

The pain of losing love or a loved one is grave enough on its own but when you add reconciling with the parts of you that you find the most shameful the weight of the loss (of love and one's self) is unbearable. There are two ways in which heartache allows these undesirable parts of us manifest
a) by making us believe these imperfections played a role in the demise of our love affairs.
b) allowing us to do things we never thought ourselves capable of.
Most of us fall in one of the two instances, and as much as we would like to believe we are above such cliches, we are only human, and a broken heart makes us realize just how human, imperfect and vulnerable we are. While seeing ourselves like that could make us uneasy, embracing our humanity and working towards minimalizing reasons for us to fall into these pits could be the best thing we can do for ourselves and our future love affairs (and heartbreaks).

The next is ALWAYS better

One of the things that make heartache, especially the first, so catastrophic is the fear of never finding love or being in love like the one you've just lost. The candid, sobering truth is: You will never find love like that ever again. This is entirely because every individual is different and they are continuously evolving, so, when you meet someone new they will be different and so will you. This means an entirely new experience, with its own set of unexpected surprises, challenges, and lessons.
While this doesn't automatically scream better but once you analyze the quality of the love you are welcoming into your life you realize that heartache raised your standard. The experience that you once thought would leave you broken only raised the bar higher. Oblivious to your own self you learned to differentiate between love and lust, commitment and convenience, communication and wishful thinking, being in love and playing lovers. This only means whoever earns your love next will be better because you are wiser (better); therefore, the love too will be better.

The best lessons about life and anything valuable can only indeed be learned from the most gut-wrenching experiences, and that is the promise that heartache always delivers on. No one eagerly run towards that kind of paralyzing agony, except if you are Ranbir Kapoor in Rockstar (even if you don't like foreign/ Indian movies this one comes highly recommended), but when it does happen, I promise once you go through the motions and come out the other side you will be better for it. The experience (both good and bad) will add up to something meaningful, so take heart and get ready for the butterfly that will emerge from this metamorphosis.

That's it, guys... Hope you enjoyed another one of my blabbers. Don't forget to do what you (commet, like, share). Till next week, xoxo.


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